


Innuendos

by Moggiye20



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, but here we are, it was suppose to just be straight up crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 20:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19185424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moggiye20/pseuds/Moggiye20
Summary: If you ignore the threat of violence and lewd humour, Chaos really is good a matchmaker.





	Innuendos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wrathofscribbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrathofscribbles/gifts).



> [WrathofScribbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrathofscribbles) and I were screaming about FFVII on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wrathofscribbles) specifically about Cloud and Vincent and this was born. I definitely want to explore this pairing (threesome? Y'all know Chaos won't keep out) more.

Rebuilding whole cities and towns was exhausting. Having to do it twice, was likely going to be the real reason Cloud was put in an early grave, he decided, ordering a beer from Tifa. He accepted the cold bottle and thanked her before settling in a seat next to Cid

“Ya know, Valentine claims that Chaos fella went back to the Lifestream, but pretty sure he’s fulla shit,” Cid commented, sipping his tea. Cloud followed his gaze to Vincent who looked like he was quietly talking on his phone, except his phone was on the table.

Vincent saw them looking and realised he wasn’t holding his phone, flushed, and quickly left the bar. Or tried to. “Vincent! Good to see you, my friend!” Reeve greeted him at the door as he was entering. “I was beginning to think you accidentally wrecked the solar charger I made for your phone, how have you been?”

Cloud watched in amusement as Reeve dragged the man back inside, clearly aware of his avoidance tactics.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re only  _ just _ noticing,” Yuffie said with her usual air of arrogance, on Cid’s otherside. “The worst Vincent has to worry about his Chaos getting bored enough on this planet that he launches him into space.”

Cid laughed but Cloud looked worried. He waited until Barret and Cid had their friends and other bar patrons distraction by an arm wrestling match before he approached Vincent. “Hey,” He said awkwardly, using a cup of tea from Cid’s stash as a peace offering. The two men stood there silently watching the match before Cloud’s social awkwardness had him blurting out, “Chaos isn’t taking you to space, is he?”

Vincent raised an eyebrow, watching Cloud’s cheeks go red. “I see our secret is more of an open secret. But, no, he does not have any plans like that. He also doesn't have any plans of global domination if that was your next worry.”

Cloud paused in the middle of mentally berating himself for the shitty ice breaker comment and blinked at Vincent. “The thought never crossed my mind,” he said honestly, “But, uh good to know?”

Vincent nodded then paused, as if hearing something. He cleared his throat, his face going flush. Cloud was about to ask if Chaos was talking to him, when Barret yelled at him to join him for a rematch.

He sighed, finishing off his beer. “Be right back.”

By the time he won the match best out of three (though not without a struggle, he was impressed with the latest upgrade Reeve had made on Barret’s arm), Vincent was long gone. Disappointed, Cloud sulked back to the bar for another beer.

The next morning, he was surprised when he left the house to find Vincent with Tifa in the garden patch. Sans his armour. Cloud would hazard a guess and call it a business casual look. A weird outfit for gardening in, but he rocked it. Cheeks burning, he hurried off to go for his morning run, waving when Tifa greeted him.

When he returned a couple hours later, he was surprised (again) to see Vincent in the kitchen with Denzel at the table. “Morning,” he greeted everyone.

Tifa popped up from near the stove with a quiche in gloved hand. “Hey Cloud, Vincent’s staying with us for a few days to relearn how to grow veggies and cook.” 

“Tifa was really mad when she heard he’s been eating raw meat,” Denzel piped up, “Said he’ll get scurvy from not eating proper veggies.”

Tifa rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t mad, horrified really. Now wash up, Cloud, breakfast will be ready soon.”

After breakfast, Tifa walked Denzel to his doctor’s appointment, leaving Cloud and Vincent alone to enjoy their respective drinks (coffee and mint tea).

With his sensitivity to mako, Cloud immediately noticed the subtle shift in his companion. He looked to see a pair of disappointed glowing red eyes staring at him. “It’s truly a shame Vincent won’t take my suggestion seriously to bed you,” he sighed, his voice tinged with an other worldly lilt. 

Cloud thanked Gaia he hadn’t been drinking his coffee right then. He had a feeling the… demon… Weapon?... would not approve getting spewed on. “What.” He instead said eloquently.

Chaos smirked. “You are quite handsome for a human, am I wrong to think otherwise?”

“...Don’t you EAT people?!”

Chaos tapped a finger against his own cheek. “Mmm, usually yes. But I believe in this instance it would be a case of… eating you out… yes? That is the correct phrase?”

Cloud was pretty sure his face was going to combust from how red it suddenly went.

“Cloud, you around?! Tifa said you and Vampire boy were still here!”

Barret was a fucking saint.

He downed the rest of his coffee, ignoring the scalding burn. “Great talk, let’s never do it again, gotta go, Barret need’s mechanic help! See you later!” He babbled, shamelessly running out the door.

Vincent regained control to an empty kitchen and Chaos laughing in the back of his head. “What the hell did you do, Chaos?!” He hissed.

“ **Grew a pair, dear host,** ” Chaos purred. “ **Why don’t you prove me wrong about your intent to move on and court him? He’s very interested.** ”

“Fuck you.”

“ **As you wish.** ”

Vincent flinched away from the table when black tendrils slipped out of the sleeves of the long sleeved shirt he was wearing and tried to go for his pants. “I didn’t mean literally!”

 

~~~~~

 

As it turned out Barret had brought Marlene with him, who also brought friends. So the upgrade Barret had asked for turned into a basic mechanic’s course. It was late afternoon when he was finally finished and waving the group off. He wiped most of the grease off his hands on a rag, blinking when he saw Vincent standing near the garage door with a large tray of food. He stomach rumbled hopefully and Cloud approached, tossing the rag in the general direction of his work bench. “Hey.”

“Hello, this is an apology offering, for whatever Chaos said,” Vincent held the tray out, which had a plate of BLT sandwiches and a teapot on it. 

Cloud smiled. “Apology not needed, but I do appreciate the offering. Want to eat outside?”

“Alright.” 

Cloud lead him to the patio and went inside to wash his hands before joining him. They tucked into their sandwiches, quickly devouring them all. 

“I’m thinking of moving,” Cloud spoke up. 

Vincent made an inquisitive noise. “Things are not working here?”

Cloud gave him a crooked smile. “Nothing against Tifa’s girlfriend, but I can hear everything they do, despite their efforts to keep quiet. I figure it’ll be good for both of us, the extra space.”

“Oh, ah, I was under the impression you were together,” Vincent said.

“Small towns aren’t a healthy place for gay kids to grow up in,” Cloud shrugged, “It was safer for her to pretend to be into me and well at the time I liked the attention. It wasn’t until after I killed Sephiroth the first time and got my head on right, that I realised it wasn’t the kind of attention I was into.”

“Hm, I thought he was pulling my leg.” Vincent murmured.

“Eh?”

“Chaos, he said you were interested in me but he’s been known to make lewd jokes before.” He turned to Cloud who was pink. “I have a home nearby, though it is in dire need of repair, would you like to move in with me, Cloud?” Vincent laid a hand on his to insure his intention was clear.

“Oh, that’s a little fast,” Cloud said faintly. “Uh--”

“Say yes, you dork!”

Cloud flinched and looked up to see Tifa and Denzel peering down at them from the second floor window.

“Say yes or I will!”

“Denzel, you’re 15 you most certainly will not!”

“Hey, a handsome guy like me can dream, alright?”

Tifa shooed him back to close the window. 

“I think I’d like that, moving in with you. No raging teenage meltdowns to deal with,” Cloud said, turning his hand to hold Vincent’s.

“Urk, you two are gonna give me cavities.” 

Cloud sighed. “Hello, Yuffie, thanks for calling to let me know you were coming over,” he said sarcastically.

“Hey I’m not here for you, I’m here to give Tifa a delivery courtesy of Mideel,” Yuffie snarked, wandering inside with a big box.

“Did I mention the location offers a swath of privacy?”

Cloud grinned. “Where do I sign?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/moggiye20)!


End file.
